a little girl's dream

Beethoven’s 5^th Symphony blared through the ancient wooden framed TV set.

Two little faces gazed intently at the bright flashing images.

The attention of the two pajama clad girls was captivated.

The music built to a powerful crescendo then suddenly stopped.

Instantly, thunderous applause roared from the single speaker on the tube.

A creeping grin creased the cheeks of the mesmerized girls sitting on the floor.

A door in the back of the room made a slight creak and both little heads snapped to the right.

                                  “Mom! Mom! Did you see the skater?” She was beautiful!”

In their young hearts grew the longing to be that pretty girl standing center ice

blowing kisses to the crowd.

There is nothing that surpasses the rush of feeling when you have that impossible dream. You spend all of your time, energy and thoughts working toward fulfilling that dream. The power of that dream brings you to sacrifice, and teaches you to focus.

“Commit to the Lord whatever you do and your plans will succeed.”

~Proverbs 16:3

But what happens when you don’t achieve that goal?

When that ladder to the sky reaches into the infinity of the clouds,

but the setting sun threatens to leave you hanging perilously in the dark.

You decide to climb back down into the droll routine of normal life

never forgetting the disappointment of your failure.

Failing to reach the stars darkens the sunrise on the horizon of the future.

Then after you sink back into the routine of the ordinary, you begin to gain perspective.

Like a horse freed of his blinders, you’re shocked to realize that the road you’ve been treading for so long is surrounded by sprawling green pastures. There is more to life than the tiny tunnel of what you wanted your life to be.

God had different plans for you. Plans that you could not imagine.

He is not out to get you.

He doesn’t want to obliterate your sky high ambitions like a star falling into the oblivion of empty space. In you he is writing a masterpiece.

But, we fail to see His ingenuity so we scribble on the story of our lives like children in a coloring book.

“Look, God! Look at the beautiful coloring I have done in my life.”

We proudly display our tattered scribbled pages filled with blot marks, and tear stains. And because of Jesus Christ, our Father looks down on our papers and smiles,

“For I know the plans I have for you,”

 declares the Lord,

 “plans to prosper you and not to harm you,

plans to give you hope and a future.”

~Jeremiah 29:11

The two little girls did become skaters. They poured their hearts and souls into it. They trained six days a week on the ice, off the ice, and travelled from rink to rink learning from countless coaches. Year after year they’d sport their sparkling dresses to competitions everywhere from Kansas City to San Jose. 

Every year ended the same.

“I just need to work harder. Next year. Next year I’ll do better.”

Finally, after fourteen years of running after figure skating stardom, my dreams began to change.

It frightened me at first. I fought the change. Doubts and fears ran though my mind like stray cats darting from ally to ally.

“If I don’t continue competitive skating I’ll be a quitter.”

And quitting is every dreamer’s worst nightmare.

But now as I open the unfinished book of my life, I reread my story up to this point and smile.

I was no quitter. 

I see now that I was successful at skating.

In my headlong pursuit of glory and fame I had lost sight of all that I had achieved.

My inability to balance dreams for the future and contentment in the present had brought a moment of dissatisfaction and a sense of failure.

Now what?

I don’t know what’s next for you. I don’t even know what’s next for me. But I know someone who does.

“You know when I sit and when I rise;

You perceive my thoughts from afar.

 You discern my going out and my lying down;

You are familiar with all my ways.

Before a word is on my tongue You, Lord, know it completely.

You hem me in behind and before, and You lay your hand upon me.

Such knowledge is too wonderful for me, too lofty for me to attain.”

~Psalm 139:2-6

Ask God. And then listen for His answer.

If you listen carefully you will hear Him.

“And behold, the Lord passed by,

and a great and strong wind tore into the mountains and broke the rocks in pieces before the Lord,

but the Lord was not in the wind;

and after the wind an earthquake, but the Lord was not in the earthquake;

and after the earthquake a fire, but the Lord was not in the fire;

and after the fire

a still small voice.”

~1 Kings 19:11-12