HIS strength in my WEAKNESS

She closed her eyes and drew a deep breath of the sultry summer air. The humidity caused the folds of her ornate maroon gown to cling to her legs and she sat on the palace balcony overlooking the kingdom which was hers. The immense pressure of being Queen weighed on her heart. How she had gotten here she still didn't fully know. It all seemed like a dream; a dream from which she never woke.

Every morning her maids were at her beckoned called to serve her, dress her and brief her on the duties of the day. And her husband, whom she loved with all of her heart, was always gone. The reality of what life would be like as the wife of a king had never occurred to her.

Back in the beginning, the idea of even appearing before His Majesty with the other young maidens of the kingdom had intimidated her. In those early days as the months of her beauty preparations she had seen hundreds of girls rejected and sent away by the king. She always thought that she’d be the next girl to be told to gather her things and leave by the side door. But that fateful year of preparation finally came to an end and her one night with the king had gone better than she ever could have imagined.

Looking back now, she still couldn't believe that the king had chosen her over all of the other beautiful maidens. It gave her a sense of pride and self-worth.  His love for her was certain. How many times he had offered half of his kingdom to her she couldn't count. Never did she doubt his love, but never did she feel fully worthy of it. In her soul, she still feared the man she called husband.

It was that fear that now strangled her heart and caused her lavishly adorned fingers to tremble.

Uncle Mordecai had written her a letter with news that made her feel faint. The Jews, her people, were going to be persecuted, and she, as Queen was their best, their only hope. The blood of thousands of innocent lives would be on her hands, if she couldn't save them. The thought of failure in securing the kings favor was crippling.  

She had not been open with her husband. She feared for her life. He was a strong king and a hard ruler. And Esther had read the history books filled with stories of many a Persian queen who had found herself headless when on the wrong side of their king.

Through the years of their marriage so many times she had wanted to tell him the truth about her heritage, but in her heart she lacked trust. The stakes of trusting King Xerxes to love her enough to accept her Jewish roots were too high.

But now she had been pushed into a corner. She could no longer cower in the dark and hope against all hopes that the storm would pass. She had to turn and face her fear, the fear of certain death.

She didn't know what made her rise to meet her fate. An imperceptible force seemed to be pushing her closer to the king’s chambers as her feet, heavy as clay stones, glided silently along the alabaster palace floors.

She knew it could only be her heavenly Father. Fasting and prayer for the last two days had made her physically weak so that should could only lie in her bed and weep to God. As she approached the guarded doors to the banquet hall time stopped. Glimpses of her childhood flashed through her mind like strikes of lighting. Countless memories of the times she’d spent with her Aunt and Uncle studying the writings of Abraham, Isaac and Jacob brought strength and purpose to her heart. What could be more holy calling? Of all his beloved peoples, God had chosen her and she felt His strength so powerful in her weakness.

“I can do all things through Him who strengthens me”  

~Phil 4:13

And with a faith that could move mountains she shoved open the doors and went to do what God had called her to do.

“…so the king and Haman went to Queen Esther’s banquet, and as they were drinking wine on the second day, the king again asked, “Queen Esther, what is your petition? It will be given to you. What is your request? Even up to half the kingdom, it will be granted.” 

Then Queen Esther answered, 

“If I have found favor with you, Your Majesty, and if it pleases you, grant me my life – this is my petition. And spare my people – this is my request. For I and my people have been sold to be destroyed, killed and annihilated. If we had merely been sold as male and female slaves, I would have kept quiet, because no such distress would justify disturbing the king.”

~Esther 7:1-4

“Esther again pleaded with the king, falling at his feet and weeping. She begged him to put an end to the evil plan of Haman the Agagite, which he had devised against the Jews. Then the king extended the gold scepter to Esther and she arose and stood before him. Then the king extended the gold scepter to Esther and she arose and stood before him. If it pleases the king, she said, and if he regards me with favor and thinks it the right thing to do, and if he is pleased with me, let an order be written overruling the dispatches that Haman son of Hammedatha, the Agagite, devised and wrote to destroy the Jews in all the king’s provinces. For how can I bear to see disaster fall on my people? How can I bear to see the destruction of my family?’” 

~Esther 8:3-6

"Now write another decree in [my] the king’s name in behalf of the Jews as seems best to you [Esther], and seal it with the king’s signet ring – for no document written in the king’s name and sealed with his ring can be revoked…”

“At once the royal secretaries were summoned – 

on the twenty-third day of the third month, the month of Sivan. 

They wrote out all Mordecai’s orders to the Jews, and to the satraps, governors and nobles of the 127 provinces… 

When Mordecai left the king’s presence, he was wearing royal garments of blue and white, a large crown of gold and a purple robe of fine linen. 

And the city of Susa held a joyous celebration…

~Esther 8:8-9, 15

And so Esther of Susa, 
meek and unimportant, 
was called by God 
and empowered with His strength 
to save her people 
the Jews. 

Don't let YOUR situation or circumstances 
dictate what you can or cannot do because, 

"Nothing is impossible with God." ~Luke 1:32